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Journey
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JOURNEY is the fruit of an experiment in spiritual direction by mail based loosely on The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. It chronicles the day-by-day growth of a soul reaching out to God.

Please see Introduction

MAY 26, 1986

I continued to probe the language of the passage.

Hence … will be called: implies that the nature of His conception will become known.

Holy offspring: holy because He is the Son of God and God, Himself.

Son of God: the Word thought by God the Father before all time—the child formed within Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit—one and the same Person, God become flesh.

Servant of the Lord: “My will is in accord with God’s will.” (1)

Once I felt I understood the language, I read the passage again, this time giving my Father the questions I had.

Why come to such a tiny, little village, to a peasant girl, rather than to a king’s palace or the Temple—something worthy of God? Two reasons—Mary’s pure heart was the only place truly worthy of Him, and to come to a palace or the Temple would have defeated His purpose. He came to demonstrate God’s love, not His power nor holiness. His plan was to show that nothing was too much for Him to do to win back the bride. So He came here and sought her out, living her life, and confining His infinity within her finiteness for a while.

Once Gabriel made his presence known, I tried to put myself in Mary’s position and live the passage. I tried to feel and think as she did, as best as I could. At Gabriel’s greeting, my first reaction was, “Who is this strange man? We’re alone!” Fear first, but then his words began to register—“highly favored…,” “blessed among women….” Me? The Lord with me? There’s some mistake.

But he goes on. He says not to fear, then calls me by my name. How does he know me? Has he been spying on me? I wish Joseph were here!

“You have found favor with God.” That’s shocking! People don’t go around saying the word “God.” He is “the Lord.” “God” is too holy to say. Yet, this man said it so easily, as if he says it all the time, but with a great reverence. Perhaps I shouldn’t be afraid of him. I realize then he would never harm me, yet I begin to tremble. I begin to realize what this man is. Awe numbs me for a moment, but then my head clears.

What had he said? I had found favor with the Lord? What can this mean? But there’s not time to ponder this. He’s saying more. A child … Jesus … Son of the Most High … David’s throne … forever. It all buzzes through my head, and then the concept leaps out at me. Messiah! The Messiah is coming! He is coming now! Now! Me—His mother! I can almost feel Him in my arms. My joy swells and swells; yet I feel so unworthy. But He’s coming! That’s all that matters.

Then harsh reality intrudes and bursts my bubble. If He’s coming now, how can I be His mother? I’m not married yet. The angel explains that He will be conceived by a miracle, by the Lord, not by a man. He tells me of another miracle. Nothing is impossible to the Lord. Elizabeth is going to have a child! After all these years! How wonderful! If Elizabeth, too old for a child, can conceive, then it is possible for me, too.

Joseph crosses my mind. Poor Joseph! He’ll know the Child isn’t his. That will hurt him so. “Oh, Lord, give him great joy at the coming of the Messiah! Let him only have joy. Spare him the pain.” I realize then that the Lord that will bring this Child into being will make all things well for Him, for Joseph, and for me. “Let it be done….”

(1) Spiritual director: Did you ever go back and read your own beautiful understandings of these words? It reads like an in-depth translation (if you read all the explanations only.)

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Copyright, 2001, Anita L. Matthews
sparrowling2000@hotmail.com