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Journey
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JOURNEY is the fruit of an experiment in spiritual direction by mail based loosely on The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. It chronicles the day-by-day growth of a soul reaching out to God.

Please see Introduction

JUNE 2, 1986

As I settled down to pray, my Father called me to the Prayer of Quiet, and I surrendered to Him. After a while, I though I began to mentally pray in tongues, but I realized it wasn’t my “voice” I was “hearing.” It was another woman, sobbing for God’s mercy in another language, her own. I realized that my Father wanted me to pray with her, so I did. It was a wordless prayer, a reaching out with the heart. She was praying for a child, her own, or one dear to her. Then He showed her to me. She was kneeling in some sort of hallway, huddled over in her anguish. I could only see her back. She wore a blue and white bandana. She was in Italy or Greece—somewhere in that part of the world. As I prayed with her, I felt the power of the God-within-me flow out to her.

After a while, He showed me a young Asian nun who was greatly troubled. Her family was Buddhist and didn’t approve of her vocation. There was a great deal of conflict there. So, I prayed with her and let strength flow to her.

She left me suddenly, and words were swelling up from within me. A great desolation came over me, and I was crying. I’ve never had such a sense of loss before, but I knew I was sharing someone else’s loss. As I prayed, He showed her to me. There had been an accident. She was being led away from the scene. People were trying to console her, but nothing helped. So, I cried with her and shared her pain. She was so young, only a teenager.

The tears ended quite abruptly, and a sense of bittersweet sadness filled me. I saw an elderly woman, newly widowed. She missed her husband but knew his sufferings were over. We prayed together for a while before He gave me the last woman. She was in a wheelchair, very old and very frail. She’ll die peacefully tonight. I asked her to pray for me, and I know she will when she receives my message.

Then it was over. I was drained and numb. It hadn’t been an hour, but there were just no prayers left in me, other than to say that I was willing to serve again at His will and to thank Him for this great blessing. He didn’t seem to mind that I ended early. The intensity of my service seemed more important than the length of time. I feel much good was done tonight.

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Copyright, 2001, Anita L. Matthews
sparrowling2000@hotmail.com