This morning, during one of my hourly offerings, I was trying to talk to my Father about a situation that needed His attention. I was having trouble putting it into words, which is not an uncommon problem to me. I seem to be the opposite of John. I write somewhat easily, but talking is hard for me. I tend to think in whole concepts. Anyway, I really didn’t want to say the “You know the situation, Father, so please do something” that I so often fall back on when words fail me.

I was laboring over the words, when suddenly the ones I wanted to say wouldn’t come out right. Neither my mind nor my mouth would form them properly. I began to babble away madly! I was praying in tongues, and, though I have done this may times before, I’ve never been locked into it the way I was then.

The total lack of control was frightening at first. Added to that was the fact that I wasn’t convinced of the rightness of that form of prayer. I always think of St. Paul’s statement that tongues should be for the edification of the community, and how can that be when I’m praying alone? Since I couldn’t stop myself, I surrendered to my Father’s will in this (1)

I seemed to be operating on two levels then. Words I couldn’t understand were welling up out of me with deep emotion. Yet, my mind was alert and observant. That part observed that it seemed as though the barrier between my subconscious and conscious minds had been breeched, and the hidden part of me was praying when the aware part of me couldn’t.

The observer asked why? My Father responded by calling to my mind the passage from Paul where it says the Spirit within us groans for us because we don’t know how to pray. This was the Spirit groaning from very deep within me because my mind didn’t know what to say.

But, my mind asked, why words that were meaningless to me? Why not the Prayer of Quiet and its wordless sighing? I’ve always felt so close to Him when called to that form of prayer. His answer was to trust Him. He knew what He was doing. So, I did, and I let my mind be caught up in the emotion spilling out of me. It was beautiful!

Tonight’s prayer period got off to a difficult start with many interruptions. These I offered to my Father as an exercise in patience.

When I was able to settle down, I took the concept of our woundedness to Him, and asked Him to teach me about it. He showed me that our woundedness is the influence we have given Satan in our lives. Not even the holiest of us is totally free. The wound goes so deep as to be part of our nature. Our hope, though, is in love covering the multitude of our sins—God’s love and our love.

Then I took the concept of our stupidity to Him. He gave me a good example—my own stupidity at not taking my tiredness to Him to heal sooner. I had put my faith in me, not Him. Putting our faith in things—science, each other, ourselves, etc.—that have proven to be fallible is one of our major stupidities. (2)

(1) Spiritual director: Don’t worry about whether it is right. It may not be right to pray this way in an assembly because, as in this case, tongues is used for making your own personal communication with God easier. In a community assembly, people need to be more aware of others than they do in their personal prayer periods. Tongues is a good way to bare your heart before God. Also, try writing God a letter when you can’t pray.

(2) Current comment: Let me clarify this. This is not to say that we shouldn’t make use of scientific advancements, etc., but rather that we shouldn’t leave God out of the solution to our problems. God and humans working together gets our problems solved. This is God’s plan.