This morning, I began to understand a bit of the direction my Father meant by the concept of “consecration” in the dream. I found a little booklet on the Third Order of St. Francis that I had picked up at the monastery years ago on one of our annual visits there. As I read it over, it felt so right! There is a major problem, though—transportation. The monthly meetings are held at the monastery, on the other side of town. I can’t drive any more, I don’t do well on buses, and unless someplace is all ready on somebody’s schedule, it might as well be on the moon as far as my getting there is concerned. I’ve put the problem in my Father’s hands. I’ll write for more information and see if something can be arranged.

Tonight, all I could do was cry. During the day, I had come to want this very, very badly, but the frustration of not being able to make a decision until the logistics are work out got to me. Then I came to realize that it was Mothers’ Day (1) ten years ago that my husband told me he wanted to marry his current girlfriend and that he might be leaving. Pain I thought long dead came flooding back. I spent my prayer period telling my Father that I hurt and giving Him that pain. (2)

(1) Current comment: This was also Mothers’ Day.

(2) Spiritual director: I’m sorry. I’m glad you know how much God understands and shares this with you.