I’m not sure if I did the right thing or not. Most of me says I did, but a part says I copped out. I think that part is my pride speaking.

I had spent most of the day at the hospital with my mother while my father had some minor outpatient surgery. I was so tired I could have cried when we got home. A nap helped a little, but I was still drained. I knew I wasn’t going to make it until the time I usually pray, so about 9:00 I asked my Father for the grace to pray then, despite the noise or for the blessing of sleep—His will be done. Before I could even finish forming the words, I was dozing off. So, I surrendered and went off to bed, committing myself to His gentle care and healing.

I remember what you wrote once about how it is not always best to do something, but sometimes it’s better just to let Him work invisibly within us. On that I justify what I did. Still, part of me feels I should have made some effort. I guess all I can do is take things up with Him at my next prayer period. (1)

(1) Spiritual director: That’s fine. It’s not good to just not care and presume God will wait. But God loves you, and I’m sure He doesn’t mind if you decide once in a while to take a break. It doesn’t sound like you were trying to escape prayer. You were simply very tired and went to bed in God’s presence.

These last two weeks of prayer periods show an increasing sensitivity to God and a deepening in humility that comes with a greater self-knowledge.