This was a difficult prayer period. I began with Hebrews 11:8-10, and through Abraham’s looking forward to the city with foundations, my Father made it clear to me that the more we grow in the certainty of the reality of the Kingdom, the less important things not of the Kingdom become to us. It was a single thought, and then He was gone.

I tried to find Him in other passages, but He wasn’t there. For the rest of the prayer period I fought, alternately, with a miserable restlessness and a desperate need for sleep. I would doze and wake up feeling the worse for it. It wasn’t the gentle sleep He sometimes gives me. All I want to do is be with Him, but He isn’t here. I feel sealed up in the empty tomb! (1)

(1) Spiritual director: This almost sounds like a physical problem, doesn’t it? Or else something is bothering you.

Even though I haven’t made many notes [on that week’s reviews], I have read this all carefully. You seem to be so much aware of God and His movements that I feel I would be intruding to comment further.

There may be some things you can do when God seems to go away. Different things help different people at different times, but: try finding some pictures of Jesus at different times in His life and look at them lovingly trying to understand how He felt in these scenes. Go over some past prayer periods when God was close and try to savor His message to you. Pick up a book that means a lot to you, or a new spiritual book and read it slowly, asking God questions to see whether He is there or not. Take the retreat and read sections until something strikes you. Take part of the retreat or something in your life that disturbed you and talk it over with God. If you think there is a psychological block, try drawing the way you feel or telling yourself a story. If this is impossible, you might be just too tired. If you go to sleep, try analyzing your dream.

Later, God may leave for a long while and the silence can be almost oppressive. Be grateful if you can! Be sincere, if you’re not grateful tell God about that openly and lovingly. And ask God to let these moments prepare you for a possible future absence.