I nearly skipped a section of the retreat! But, my Father showed me where I had accidentally turned two pages, so I am beginning the meditations on “God calls me to freedom” rather than beginning to use Spiritual Exercises, as I had thought.

I began with Genesis 22:1-19, and this was somewhat difficult for me. I know my Father would never call on me to sacrifice John as Abraham was told to do. We don’t make burnt offerings any more. But what if He allowed him to have a long, painful illness? Would my faith be strong enough to let me see the “empty tomb” at the end? Certainly, there would be times when it would be very hard to do that, and I would probably have moments of anger. I know myself well enough to say that. But would it destroy my faith? I think not. My Father has brought too much good out of too many rotten situations in my life for me to abandon hope altogether. While I spoke to Him about this, I asked for the grace of not being tested beyond my ability to endure.

I moved on to Luke: 26-38. Actually, a lot has been “done unto me,” and all of it has produced good, eventually. I don’t think I would have trouble keeping in mind that what is done to me is for my own good. I have my Father’s promise on that in our covenant.

He led me to Philippians 3:7-16 next. St. Paul’s comment about counting all else but Christ as rubbish led me into a sort of inventory of my material possessions and their meaning to me. (1) I recalled what my Father promised in our covenant. He will provide for me. If I lose something, it will be replaced if it is something that I need, such as my printer was. If it isn’t replaced, then I didn’t really need it! (2)

Finally, I went to Genesis 12: 1-9, and Abraham’s call to pack up and move. My Father and I had a bit of a chuckle at this one. I’ve moved so many times in my life that once more would be no big deal to me. In fact, He knows that the whole family has been praying that we could move to a better neighborhood. I was almost disappointed that I found no hidden promise in this text! (3)

(1) Spiritual director: All of them? You must not have very many.

(2) Spiritual director: This conviction may be tested later in your life even more than now. Build strength and abandonment to God.

(3) Spiritual director: Sigh.