Again, my Father worked with me at times during the day, and I took Luke 19:41; Luke 15:11ff; Revelations 2:5; and Revelations 3 as the prayer texts for my prayer period.

This has been a very difficult section for me. It has stood at odds against much of what my Father has taught me recently, and I struggled with doubts at times. But my Father led me gently through it all to an understanding.

The problem lies in putting God into human terms. Granted, that’s what we must do to reach an understanding of Him. Even Our Lord used parables to teach us. But, we must be careful in bringing God down to our level. It’s too easy to ascribe human traits to Him that He just doesn’t have.

For instance, we grew up with the Act of Contrition: “O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee….” Using the ideas of hurting God’s feelings, of frustrating Him, and of disappointing Him has long been a well-meant pious practice to stir feelings of tender contrition in us. Our Father has tolerated this in those of simple faith because it works. It does move people to amend their lives, which, I’m sure, is why the theme of this section is presented the way it is.

The truth is, though, that we can neither hurt, frustrate, nor disappoint God. We are attributing human emotions (1) to Him that He just doesn’t have. While this will strengthen many people’s desire to remain faithful to God, it, unfortunately, stand in direct conflict with some very vital truths. On deeper levels, it denies the omniscience of God; it turns the bliss of the saints into constant lamentation; and it casts doubts upon the assurance that Good will ultimately destroy Evil.

Omniscience is the knowing of all things – past, present, and future. Our omniscient God knew, from the first moment of His act of creation, exactly what would occur from that moment until the end of time, and beyond into infinity. In fact He knew it all before He ever began His creation. What He saw as the ultimate result of this creation was His Kingdom wherein His beloved creatures would dwell with Him in glory. That Kingdom is reality to God, with no room for doubt. It isn’t a matter of a dream that God has that He hopes will come true. It is fact. Just as He knew the reality of the Cross at the Incarnation, and the reality of the empty tomb at the Cross, so He knew the reality of the Kingdom at Creation.

Now, did the Cross, the ultimate sin, hurt, frustrate, or disappoint our Father? No! It was His will! He allowed the human body of His Son to experience the full fury of Hell to establish as fact that nothing can stand in His way. If we say we can frustrate God, we are saying that He does not know the reality of the Kingdom’s final victory as He knew the reality of the empty tomb. If He does not know the reality of the Kingdom’s victory, then He is not omniscient. But, if we believe that He is omniscient, then we must also believe that we have no power to frustrate or disappoint Him.

Suppose, though, that we could hurt His feelings with our sins, our day-to-day rejections of His love. The Act of Contrition implies that our most petty transgressions do cause Him sorrow. Now multiply that sorrow by the billions of us who sin daily in one way or another, many very seriously. Now consider the multitude of saints who have achieved union with their sorrowing God. Would not His sorrow be theirs? Do we strive for a Heaven filled with grief for the lost, or joy for the saved? The parable of the lost sheep and the prodigal son mention no grief when the lamb and son wander off. There is only joy at their return. Has God revealed a grieving Heaven to any of the saints?

Yes, Jesus wept over Jerusalem, and this troubled me greatly. Then, my Father showed me Jesus weeping in Gethsemane, too. His as-yet unglorified humanity was very human. He could feel the hurt, frustration, and disappointment that we, but not His Father, could feel. But, did He weep after the Resurrection and the full glory of His humanity?

Yes, God was angered by Israel’s unfaithfulness and is angered by ours. But, was (and is) it a matter of “You hurt me!” or of divine justice? Justice, to be justice, must be dispassionate. “Passionate justice,” derived from hurt, is revenge. Do we have a just God or a vengeful one?

My Father has shown me that Satan obtains what power he has from us and our sins. He has no power of his own since his defeat at Calvary. Now, if we, as individuals, can frustrate God’s plans for the Kingdom, then what damage can Satan, who holds the combined power of all our unrepented sins, do to it? If we allow that individuals can frustrate God, then we admit room for doubt as to God’s ultimate victory over all Evil. But, if we believe that Satan cannot triumph, then we, mice that we are, cannot possibly put a single scratch in the bliss of the Kingdom.

Did the loss of the Lightbearer before the Throne of God alter the reality of that Throne? Did it topple it? If all souls were lost but one, would the Kingdom be less valid? Our Father loves us and gives us every grace we need to become citizens of the Kingdom. But, He also gave us free will to accept or reject that Kingdom. If we reject it, we gain for ourselves the fruits of divine justice, but we have no power to touch the Kingdom in any way, nor any who dwell therein. (2) Julian of Norwich understood this, too.

Forgive me if I’ve been undiplomatic in my criticism of the structure of this section of the retreat. If I seem harsh in presenting my arguments against the concept of a hurt, frustrated, and disappointed God, please believe that it wasn’t criticism against you. I know that the retreat form you are experimenting with is important in our Father’s plan, which makes it important that it be just the way He wants it to be. He wants it to be His instrument in raising people to the higher thoughts of Isaiah 55. To do that we must begin to put aside the pious fictions that bring Him down to our level. You have asked for my advice in the structure of the retreat, and I would suggest that you give this section back to Him for refinement. He will show you how to accent the harm that we do to ourselves when we sin. This is what the prayer texts really say. (3)

(1) Current comment: I think “limitations” would have been a better choice than “emotions.” I didn’t mean to imply that God is cold and unemotional, only that He could see the victory as fact while we still waged the battle. We are limited in what we can actually know as fact, and thus can only hope for the victory. Thus, we can be hurt, frustrated, and disappointed, but God isn’t hampered by this limitation.

(2) Spiritual director: Some people would disagree with this. However, our friend Julian would agree. Oh, you said this in the next sentence. In our class of spiritual directors, most found this concept of Julian strange to modern ears. Some concepts have changed, but don’t be threatened. God will always be Who He is no matter what people think of Him. Stay close to Him!

(3) Spiritual director: Thank you for your comments. I had the same trouble, but I had forgotten about having it. So, I am very grateful you brought this to my attention.

I am also grateful you were not afraid to be honest and tell me exactly what you thought. Your logic and your ability to articulate are very helpful.

As I said, I had the same trouble. But certain experiences since then have changed my view. Not that God isn’t omniscient or that people in Heaven aren’t joyful. I would like to write you a long explanation, but it will take some planning, and I’d like to send this sheet to you now since I’m a week behind already. I also want to study your explanation more thoroughly. For now, skip things like this if they cause you trouble or make a stumbling block for you.

I’d like to give a few comments for your discernment and evaluation. Johann Sebastian Metz, theologian, expresses the idea that suffering is a part of human life. It may be the result of sin. Still it’s the way things are right now in reality. That doesn’t mean be complacent about it. But the acceptance of suffering brings maturity and the remembrance of suffering helps us learn from our past and to know our roots. He suggests that when we die, we carry this suffering with us as part of ourselves. It is not a sad suffering but a part-of-life suffering, a joyful suffering—joyful because it is part of our lives, we have lived through it, it has matured us, we can understand others and ourselves through it. There may be no suffering in Heaven, but we won’t give up our maturity that suffering has given us, nor the memory of the suffering that has been part of us.

When saints associate with Christ’s suffering, they bring this with them to Heaven. The Jesus now in Heaven is the one who really suffered. The joy doesn’t mask what happened. People were cruel to Him. There is sin. Is God a stone or does He have everything so worked out that sin doesn’t matter nor the effects of sin? Or does He rejoice because He suffered and used this real suffering for good? Nina, this is a terrible explanation.

I’ll see whether I can do any better with a little more thought. I could explain a little of Metz, but I’m having trouble formulating my own experiences and questions on the subject. I do remember having a lot of trouble putting human qualities on God. Because I, too, felt it was making Him in our image instead of letting Him be Himself. The comeback to this is – are we not made in His image? We have emotions, etc. My answer was – what about sin? If we make Him in our image, we’re likely to project our sins on Him, too. It’s a difficult question. I’ll try to explain more fully by next time, and would appreciate it if you would continue to give me your honest comments. Thanks again for all of these.