I read all the accounts of Peter, James, and John falling asleep in Gethsemane with the hope that my Father would speak to me about my own sleep problem through them. He was silent, so I turned to those Apostles, asking them to intercede for me. Almost immediately, the sleepiness came on me. I tried to fight it, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I must have slept for a good half hour.

I awoke very frustrated. I tried reading Luke 8, but the words just seemed to go through my mind without much meaning. I’m very, very discouraged. The dryness, my Father’s absence, I can understand. That’s His doing, and His reasons are unquestionably for my good. I trust Him.

The one I don’t trust is me. I don’t understand this sleepiness, so I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong, or if my Father is working through it, or even if Satan is using some weakness in me to interfere in my prayers. Nothing I have done has helped. I’m not about to give up, though, despite the fact that the devil keeps telling me that the situation is only going to get worse. Sleeping away my prayer time has got to be better than despair. (1)

(1) Spiritual director: SLEEPINESS: It may be caused by an interior quieting down which is very good. It may help to take a half-hour nap before your prayer period. But don’t get frustrated. If you fall asleep, wake up peacefully in God’s presence. Some of the best prayer periods occur after a person has slept a while. God may be wanting to heal you in sleep. Try to stay awake, but don’t worry if you fall asleep. You are in good company: St. Thèrése used to fall asleep a lot during prayer. She used to say that God loves His child just as much awake as asleep! So, please don’t worry about it, or get agitated. Stay peaceful and calm in the presence of a very loving Father.