I was working on a writing project when it came time to pray. I put it aside and tried to settle down, but the creative energies were flowing. I couldn’t seem to turn them off. After struggling with it for a while, I decided to go ahead and finish the project as I figured it would only take about a half-hour. Once it was done, I could pray with a clear mind.

Well, I dove back into it and lost track of time. I underestimated how long it would take me to finish by quite a bit. It was nearly midnight when I finished that first draft, and I was worn out.

I faced a dilemma then. Do I force myself to stay awake another hour and try to pray? Or, do I offer the work I had done to my Father as a gift and go to bed? I chose the latter as an exercise in humility. I’ve learned my lesson about trying to push myself too far. I don’t give God a fair hearing when I do that. Yet, I learned a lesson about putting God first. Next time, I’ll pray before I start to write. (1)

I think He was pleased with my offering, or at least with my admission of my weakness. As I settled down to go to sleep, He gave me a beautiful imagery—a vast, magnificent cathedral bright with the glories of thousands of adoring angels. It was a scene of offerings being made, and mine was one of them. (2)

(1) Spiritual director: This was a hard decision. At least ask God what He wishes you to do and try to listen with an open heart. Or try doing the project with Him. If there is resistance inside, or you end up doing it without Him and ignoring Him, then stop and pray. What you do is between you and God. I’m sure you’d want to do what He thought best. The hard thing is to think to ask Him.

(2) Spiritual director: He seems so happy with any gift of love. He never wants us to worry or feel guilty but only to trust. I think you have said this quite a few times.