I went to my Father in prayer tonight and asked Him to show me what stands between His will and mine. He began by showing me all the ways He as been freeing me to His service over the past few years. Looking back at the person I was, I can see, easily, that very many chains have been broken to set me free. My Father has been so very good to me! This is one big area yet that needs work, and it’s related to my nemesis, pride. I still am bound, somewhat, by concern about what people will think of me. I don’t want any kind of attention drawn to me for fear of being thought a fool or a fraud. I know I’m not, but there are many who think anyone in God’s service is. But, as always, my Father is good to me. He showed me how He gave me the courage to start the Prayer SIG, when I really would have preferred to have been an anonymous member of it! He will grant me the courage to do His will as I need it and will continue my liberation. (1)

We discussed the question of indifference for a few moments. This is something else He has been teaching me over the past few years. My health and materialistic hopes went out the window a good while back, and I learned that the world didn’t end because of it. This is not so say that I’m perfectly indifferent. I have my moments of concern, but my Father is working with me on it and will continue to do so. I asked Him for the grace of cooperating with Him in this.

(1) Spiritual director: You seem to have a perfectionist attitude here. People can only be themselves and do what they can in God’s service. Other people, who see them, do the best they can. Sometimes these last are judgmental. But that’s their problem or fault, and we can be understanding of this problem and the discomfort it causes these people who think ill of others or pick at the faults of others. As for ourselves, we can try to associate with the people we serve, help humbly only when our help would really help, and be willing also so accept whatever little or much the other has to offer us in love – a handshake or whatever.