My Father was very close to me throughout the day. We made our usual Easter pilgrimage to the Franciscan monastery today. As we visited the various shrines in the gardens, and the various chapels in the beautiful church, His presence surrounded me, calling to me lovingly. Often, the call was so strong that I felt it difficult to move. I wanted to be very still, very alone, and just experience the fullness of it. But, I wasn’t alone, and I had to move on with the others. Even so, His calling drew a response from me. It was only a single word “Come!” but it carried much meaning. It was a prayer for myself, for Him to come fill my soul with what graces that He would. But, it was also a prayer for the Kingdom, that He would come into the hearts of all mankind, and draw them into His city. Throughout the day, we called like this to each other.

We did have a few minutes alone together as I rested a bit between the monastery visit and Holy Thursday Mass. I was very tired, and ached all over, and so I offered my discomfort to Him. He, in turn, taught me about my sin of pride of the other day. I had stood firmly against Satan’s very obvious, and more violent, attacks of the past, but had fallen into his hidden pit of poison. Satan’s cunning is his greatest attribute. I must be especially careful of that.

It was very late before I had the chance for a formal prayer period. I didn’t go to the Scripture passages, but answered my Father’s calling again with my “Come!” We spent nearly a half-hour just being together lovingly. Then, He gave me a series of visual images. I was looking down as the paving stones of an ancient street passed beneath me. It was as though I were walking the street, but I couldn’t see my feet or any part of me, only the pavement moving beneath me. After awhile, the ancient street became a modern sidewalk. The sidewalk, gutter, and street beyond became inundated with a gentle flood of muddy, brown water.

I didn’t understand this, so I asked my Father to explain. The ancient paving stones were the streets of Jerusalem. The reason I couldn’t see my feet was because I was seeing them through the eyes of Jesus as He walked them. Just as He walked the streets of the ancient city, so He is present in our modern world symbolized by the sidewalk. The flood of water was the life-giving water of His love. The muddiness didn’t indicate any kind of impurity. Rather, it was like the slit of the Nile that made Egypt fertile. Thus, His love fertilizes our souls as well as quenches their thirst. The silt was the Gifts of the Holy Spirit that would bring forth the Fruits.

I gave thanks for this understanding, and the next thing I knew I was waking from a nap.

Before I forget it, the Julian of Norwich (1) book is being very helpful. Through it, I’ve come to realize that my use of “my Father” is also indicative of the Trinity, as Jesus indicated the Trinity to her. Now, God is acting primarily as Teacher to me, and I see that as a paternal role. I don’t think it is important, at least not just yet, that I try to distinguish which Person of the Trinity is working with me. Jesus, of course, is often easy to identify, because of the events of His humanity.

Another thing that I learned from the book was in answer to a question I’ve long had. It sometimes seems that God needs our prayers to act in a situation. That didn’t seem quite right to me. Julian explained that, instead, God allows us to participate, through prayer, in His good works. This unity of intent, so to speak, is a preliminary form of the full union that we seek. This last is what my Father taught me through Julian’s writing. Thank you so much for recommending the book. Our Father is using it as His instrument!

(1) Showings, by Bl. Julian of Norwich