I had trouble settling down for this prayer period. There seemed to be hundreds of things demanding my immediate attention. I was tempted to postpone the prayer time, get these things out of the way, and come back when my mind was more at ease. But, another part of me knew that if I did this, I might get caught up in what needed doing, and I wouldn’t come back, or I would have to stop in the middle of something and be annoyed by that. (1)

I remembered what my Father had said to me about putting Him first, so I offered my anxiety and restlessness to Him in union with the Cross. He wasn’t there, however, nor was my Brother. I began reading Luke 12, and read through to chapter 16. Attempts at conversation with my Father went nowhere; I became very distracted. In the readings, nothing seemed to speak particularly to me. It seemed that what my Father wanted of me was to sacrifice what I felt I had too little of today - time. That’s what He wanted, so that’s what He got. He knows what He’s doing. As I read, I was able to relax. Now I can approach all those tasks without all the tension I had before. I had asked Him, earlier, to help me in what I had to do. He did!

I do so miss His presence. I know He’ll return, though, and I’m looking forward to that. Actually, I know He’s never left me. He’s just too close to see right now.

(1) Spiritual director: This is always a dilemma.