I went back to Psalm 131, and my Father dealt very deeply with me, but gently, through this psalm. I had a very difficult time reading the first part. I couldn't declare to my Father, with any kind of honesty, that I was not proud and haughty. He showed me that I was. As a defense mechanism, I have placed much of my identity in being right - possessing all the facts of whatever situation was at hand. All through high school, they called me Mr. Spock after the Star Trek character.

Facts have their place. The ability to gather and assess them accurately is a gift. I have misused this gift by using it as a weapon to bruise egos in defense of my own. I have demanded scrupulous "truth" in instances where it didn't matter in the least. I have been a chronic nitpicker, and an arrogant one. I had even deluded myself into believing that I was being kind to the person by setting him or her straight on the matter.

In teaching me this, my Father gave me the visual imagery of Jesus' trial. My Brother could have wielded the fact of His divinity in a brilliant defense. But, He didn't. It wasn't the time for facts, but of salvation. It was a time of striping away of defenses, a time of humility and meekness. Facts and arrogance are a defense I must put aside at times in dealing with people, especially my mother, if I'm to relate to them lovingly.

My Father wants me to unite my meekness to that of my Brother, as an offering to Him. He gave me the imagery of Jesus carrying His Cross through the streets of Jerusalem. I was behind Him, carrying a tiny little stick of a cross. Yet, I was the one who kept falling under the weight of my burden. Every time I did, my Brother would turn around and help me up. Each time He did, the little cross I had was bigger, but His help made me even stronger in proportion. This is the fruit of union with Him.

He led me to Psalm 91, then, and through it confirmed that He is with me. The time went moderately fast. I've only been in this section for two days, yet I genuinely feel as though my Father is leading me on to the next.